"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "
"What does it really mean to seek God with ALL our heart?"
12 years to the day when I first came to the knowledge and acceptance of what Jesus has done for me, I am faced with this question.
Does it mean forsaking everything else? Leaving everything else behind? Forgetting all else?
Is it enough to go off once inawhile to a quiet place and turn the world off for a few hours? How about a daily 30-minute 'quiet time'? Is that enough?
As our lives are defined by moments, I think back to those moments in time where I felt as if I have succeeded in being so close with my Savior.
Images and memories rush back to me bringing with them feelings of joy and exuberance.
And yet a certain pain is felt in my heart, for those moments are nothing but that.
In the past, and yet forever with me as well.
As I sit here near the train station, watching people pass by, I am reminded by what the pastor said in his message yesterday. We are in transit. We are all making our way towards the ultimate end. That our life here on earth is not the end. That this is not the ultimate destination.
I suddenly become aware, that while most people may think that they are travelling alone, I know I am not. At least not for the past 12 years now. From the first moment of realizing who Jesus Christ really is, and what He has done for me, I know that I have enjoyed this journey through life so much more.
And while in the past 12 years there also have been a lot of times wherein I appeared to be traveling by myself, I cannot go back to those specific points in time. But, I am comforted by the fact that there is still a lifetime of journey ahead for me to take. And whether I am counting days, weeks, months or years before my journey ends, I am not afraid. For one less day, week, month or year would only bring me closer to where I am supposed to be: home.