Single and Waiting

The true story of each person in this world is not the story you see, the external story. The true story of each person is the journey of his or her heart. –John Eldredge (Sacred Romance)

Isang bagay na madalas ko na tanungin sa mga youth dito sa church is: How is your lovelife? And pagkatapos nilang sabihin sa akin yun sa tingin nila eh yun sagot na gusto ko marinig na after eh feeling nila titigilan ko na sila, I bombard them with a lecture on love and the importance of waiting. But of course, it all depends on the day really. Sometimes the lecture’s solely about waiting.

I am Jiggy Santos, 22 going on 23 years old, single and waiting.

To some of you out there who already know my story, this won’t be much of a different one from the one you already know. But to some who don’t really know me, please allow me, in one hour (joke =P), in a few minutes tell you all about my life/love story.

As hard it is to believe, hindi naman talaga ako forever eh super advocate of “waiting”. There was once a time in my life when I chose not to wait, and in the process, changed the course of my present and my future.

Hindi po ako pinalad na maging member ng rare breed na: No Boyfriend Since Birth. I think some, if not most of you, already know who I was involved with in the past. But for those of you who don’t, you can ask me after the program (joke again =P).

I was 18 when I had gotten in my first real relationship. When I say real, I mean the boyfriend-girlfriend type and not just “M.U.”, na mas kilala ngaun sa tawag na “may something sila”.

Shempre alam na natin that ended…because if it didn’t, Eh dapat ay ‘in a relationship’ ang status ko sa facebook.

But why is it that I ended up now still single (i.e. not yet married), unattached and most importantly: waiting?

I think it was Blaise Pascal (and not Sheryl Crow) who said that everyone has a God-shaped hole in all of us, that of course only God can fill. Although in my case, I believe that aside from that God-shaped hole in me, there is also another type of hole in my life, which only a specific someone could fill.

I am a firm believer that if you are called to it, you should pursue it. And I believe that I am called to marriage.

I believe the call to marriage has been given to most of us, and a ‘higher calling’ a.k.a. singleness, to a selected few. How do I know this? If God destined for us to just remain singles all our lives, then Genesis 2:18 would have to be taken out of the bible (‘It is not good for man to be alone…’)

I said awhile ago that if we are called to something, we should pursue it. And I also said that I believe I am called to marriage. So the next question should be, just how am I pursuing this call?

How else? But by waiting.

Okay, I know that sounded contradictory, for the word ‘pursuit’ is often associated with ‘urgency’ and ‘activity.’ While the word ‘waiting’, well we think it’s quite the opposite.

Waiting is often mistaken for being too passive, but it actually isn't. Waiting is actually something that is active. For waiting is not merely doing nothing, it involves choosing not to do something that you know you are not ready for.

So what can then we do? If I am saying that waiting is active as well, where does the active part come?

Christians sometimes have this tendency to over-spiritualize this aspect of our lives. While it is most definitely true that at this time of aloneness, we have so much time to devote to really developing a deeper relationship with God; that does not excuse us to not prepare ourselves as well for what is ahead.

You must be thinking, “I’m still a student, so I’m not even thinking about getting married anytime soon, so why should I already start preparing for marriage?”

Just think of it this way, a world-class athlete does not become a champion overnight. They don’t just prepare a week or a month before the Olympics. How they become a champion, is because of the many years that they devote and spend in training. They start small and they start young. Eventually, they start competing in small tournaments until such time that they join the Olympics and become world champions.

That’s why when it comes to our human love relationships, we should really ‘live like we’re planning to marry.” Just like the athletes, even though we don’t know when we will be able to take on the “Big Leagues”, we should continually build ourselves up until we’re ready.

I’m not standing here in front of you as a ‘poster girl’ for waiting. I know for a fact that it is a struggle. It’s not a walk in the park. It is an act of daily surrender to God’s sovereignty, acknowledging the fact that ‘His ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts’

John Eldredge in his book Sacred Romance said: “Our hearts cannot live without hope. Hope is for the soul what breathing is for the living organism. Faith, Hope and Love – Love may be the greatest but hope plays the deciding role.”

In the bible, depending on the translation used, the words: wait and hope are often interchanged. That’s because, they really cannot be one without the other. Hope allows us to wait. And as we wait, we hope as well.

I don’t really know who, when, where or how.

“But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. “ –Romans 8:24,25

“And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. (Hebrews 6:15)

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I shared this testimony last Saturday during "Matters of the Heart" Valentine's Special by Ignite Youth Network at KBCF.

To God be the glory! =)