Signs of Spring

"The Lord has brought about growth in me through knowing him, something I cannot regret, though there have been times when I wished I'd never met him. I have to give him to the Lord regularly. I live "present tense" more than ever before and have managed to overcome the plaguing desire to know if "we" will eventually 'work out". I've told the Lord I want to be an obedient servant, and he shot back, "And are you willing to face grief and pain or what ever it takes for Me to make you that?" Even though I felt unable, I said, "What choice do I have? I know too much to drop the ball now. There's no tuning back." I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. But He has brought me this far and already my joy is unspeakable."
{PASSION AND PURITY, Chapter 16}